Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina
Have I been told " I'm busy" sure of course been there done that and bought lots of tshirts. It sucks it's hurtful . But I have learned that this happens over a lifetime.
People run there lives as they want, apparently as previous mentioned this person doesn't value the friendship as much as you do. That is life , you can't control other peoples priorities, trying to figure out why people do what they do is a waste of time and is often pointless.
If 2 people have been thick as thieves best friends for decades and someone doesn't get back to you in a "reasonable "amount of time. I would follow up and hope to get some answers .
Life doesn't always wrap up every relationship that trails off with a cute red bow and closure is complete.
As for Facebook and even here on PC, there are times that I am just pretty "non verbal " as my friends and I describe it, I just don't want to have a discussion or a chat, I often roam roam around Facebook posting pics or memes or lurk on here, or get lost on tumblr for hours! I'm not being rude I'm taking care of myself, self care is important to me.
If a friend sent me a text or Facebook message ( I seriously haven't emailed anyone in years , in fact I might only check my email a couple times a month) and was in trouble I would respond as soon as I could, but if it wasn't important I will respond when I can or want too and my friends " get that"
I don't know your age , obviously you email people maybe your friend just doesn't like to email. I loathe it . The few people that have emailed me , I often respond with a I'm tied up with stuff and can't really respond right now ..... I do this with my aunt a lot ... Why ? Because she sends long emails that requires me to sit and respond to her whole email and sometimes I am just not in the mood to do it at all . Am I a horrible person ? No ! I am a person that isn't going to respond to every one all the time as soon as they email ( ick) text or message.
In your situation ??? Sure if you want to call it rude for someone to say there busy that's fine , it fits in your mind as such, nothing wrong or right about it .
I have for instance met people here on PC And we will PM back and forth for days or weeks maybe a month and then s/he or I just kinda let it go... There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Some people I have to actively refuse to respond because they are what I consider emotional vampires always wanting or needing something. That stresses me out big time and it's not healthy for me so I have boundaries.
Lots of responses given to you is based off that persons feeling about this type of situation.
Life is full of good and bad and I learned long ago to pick my battles and where to focus my energy on.
Take care
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Yes, people do run their lives as they want. But it's a matter of respect for the other person that is my issue.
You write that your friends 'get' that you won't respond to their Facebook posts right away unless it was an emergency. What that implies is that your friends know your limits and thus respect your limits. That's my point. My (former) friend in the 8 years of our friendship knows what my limits are with communication and this includes social media and the telephone.
Ok, you're like the third poster to dismiss my belief that using "busy" instead of just telling the truth is rude, when you say "there's nothing wrong or right about it." For you it's no big deal. That's your limit. For me it is a big deal. "I'm too busy" is just an excuse to avoid spending time with that person.
I'm in my late 40s but age has nothing to do with making a choice and prioritizing relationships. Neither does the duration of the friendship -- you either choose to respect that friend's limits/boundaries/expectations, or you don't.
And this isn't a 'pick your battle' kind of scenario. As I wrote, with any relationship you set your expectations up so the other person knows your boundaries, or your limits with what you consider respectful or disrespectful behavior.
For me, it's not ok to wait nearly 2 months to respond to my phone call with an email. That is where I draw the line, because it goes past my limits (what I will tolerate) because I think that it's rude. Maybe some people think my expectations or limits are too rigid but I think those are different for everyone. Since I would never wait 2 months to respond to someone who reached out to contact me, I expect the same treatment from others. And while I am willing to give friends a break with many things, this isn't one of them.
There is no such thing as 'too busy.' It's about priorities.