Hello ntkys: I'm sorry you are experiencing this increase in these difficult thoughts. Hopefully being here on PsychCentral can be of some comfort & some support. I know you mentioned you've seen 3 or 4 therapists & they've given up on you. That is really sad. I know I've never had much luck with therapists either. It can take a while to find the right one for you, though. So I hope you can find a way to keep trying.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!