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Perhaps this is in my head only but I feel a bit sad about that perhaps my T thinks less of me than she appears to do. She hasnīt said anything or done anything that made me think so, these thoughts have more sprung from me realizing we are different in several ways.
For me itīs important that my T thinks Iīm "agreeable" and that she doesnīt think Iīm hard or boring to work with. As Iīm quite a serious person I got the thoughts like she finds me stiff, hard to get to talk about feelings and such things.
I also know that itīs quite fruitless to openly ask her about this as if she really thought I was for example rather boring she would never say so. As she hasnīt shown any specific negatives against me I also donīt want to just say "I think itīs important you find me agreeable". Also then, she wouldnīt contradict me if she didnīt find me agreeable and reveal how she thinks about me.
As my T also isnīt that much into talking about our therapeutic relationship I donīt feel there is much room for these kind of questions. She has several times told me that thereīs always something she likes in every client but thatīs very vague to me. That could mean she likes one side of me and dislikes several others.
This is also something that would appear at any T I see as no T talks (or should talk) about how they personally feel about a client. But for me, this is hard to handle and even if she told me "I like working with you" or something similar when I brought this up, it hadnīt been enough and I wouldnīt believe her (or any T when it comes to those things)
Anyone who can relate?
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