Thank you everyone for responding - it makes me feel better, since these are thoughts I haven't even shared with my closest friends.

TishaBuv: I'm just curious about how your husband responded when you told him. The reason I ask is because when I told someone that I was dating (quite seriously) about my past, he did not take it very well and did not see me in the same way afterwards, when it came to trust as well as sex. The difference - while he continued to be kind and is a kind man - was very perceptible.

This is partly why it haunts me, and I can't forgive myself for it. The person I was before he knew was happier, freer, lighter. Me afterwards, I felt so broken.

If any of this is too personal to share, feel free to skip my question.