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Originally Posted by defyinggravity65
No, it wasn't rambling! I found your points to be very helpful, thank you!
The only thing is, at the same time as I am very self-defeating, there is also this other defensive, selfish side of me that tries to make me feel superior to compensate, leaving me feeling simultaneously better AND worse than others and leaving me alone with no friends.
I agree it would be good to raise my self esteem, but I don't want to over inflate my ego even more in doing so and how does one going about doing that?
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Ah, a very good question...I will help as best as I can.
It is OK not to know things and it is OK not to be good at things. It doesn't make you inferior and no one will think less of you for not being superb at every little thing. I find most people who hide their insecurities behind a veil of faux superiority have never been told this. I would say working on accepting your flaws is a part of building self-esteem.
Do you think perhaps the feelings of self-defeat occur because you are aware these feelings of superiority are unfounded? And do you think you have these feelings of superiority because you are afraid of being thought of as a failure? I don't mean to seem as though I am assuming things about you.