My ex-T abandoned me a year and a half ago. I don't cry for her anymore, but I still have days where I miss her and think about her. I think it's just part of the grieving process, not that you have failed. Be patient with yourself. It's not your fault that this has happened.

Btw, I know you wrote another thread on this... Could your T think it's unethical to have you as a client again because it would re-foster your attachment to her? Sorry if it's off topic. I was just thinking of how seeing a client again would be unethical.