A conversation was had and it was explained in a calm fashion that regardless of the reason, care needs to be executed when dealing with doors. A brief explanation was provided in regards to the whys. Also a solution was provided; knock and vocalize the reason for being by/opening the door as well as vocalizing who you are. That seemed a reasonable compromise. He was agreeable and understanding.

Indeed, it is challenging when everyday life brings triggers and all of the calm talk in the world seems to fail to bring about actual calm. We can say a million times that the reactions we experience are too far out to be based in reality in the here and now yet it does not wipe them away.

On our end, I believe it becomes a bruise to the ego as well. We are the ones who have dealt with problems, yet we find ourselves now the ones experiencing problems that we would have dealt with in past. Lends itself to feeling incompetent. Lends itself to feeling as failures.

Trying to focus on this being a victory. Despite the fact that thoughts turned in directions we are uncomfortable with, it was dealt with in an appropriate way. It was not the thoughts that mattered, rather, what we did with those thoughts. Still not entirely recovered, but it seems the worst is over.

-Amsterdam