So here's an update: I felt exhausted all weekend but still managed to get a couple job apps sent out. Yesterday I had a phone interview over my lunch break with the place that called Friday. I got the impression the guy didn't think I was a good candidate for the position, but to my surprise I got an email from him later in the day asking if I would be willing to drive down there today (my day off this week) for an interview. After mulling it over for a couple hours last night, I decided to turn it down because I realized I would be making less money (I'm barely covering my bills as it is) and I would almost certainly have to pay more for rent, etc. down there. That and it was just all happening so fast. Then I was second-guessing myself up the yin-yang because some of my friends I talked to about it thought I was being "too picky" or wimping out.

But another part of my decision to turn it down was that I had an appointment scheduled with my therapist today and every since last Thursday it felt like knowing that was coming was about the only thing keeping me going. Problem was, last night I fell asleep before I put my CPAP mask on and got up around 4 this morning all dazed and confused. I went back to bed, put the mask on and slept for five solid hours, but I was pretty much shot for the day. Still had a good session but it was hard to concentrate or focus when I'm that tired. She even told me my "homework" was to go home and take a nap.

Talking to the therapist did however make me realize that this is not the first time I've been in this state, i.e. where I'm just constantly on edge and I feel like nothing I do will help me relax.

So now tonight I'm trying to motivate myself to complete the application for this one job I really want more than any of the others. At first I started thinking I was foolish to even apply for it because I'm not qualified enough, but I've gotten more confident about it as time has gone on. I'm just so dang fatigued that it's hard to get anything done. Therapist suggested I split it up into smaller pieces throughout the week and send the whole thing in this coming weekend; think I'll take that route.

Oh and Myst, I just felt I should clarify that unlike most of the bosses I've had, I don't have a problem with my current boss. She's just doing her job. The problem is that my job and I are not a good fit.