Thank you Luce!

I'm so trying to understand what happened. Im not sure about the terms you use, I'm sorting this out as I go . If it's ok, I'd like to kind of walk through it.

Just want to say to anyone else reading this.

*** TRIGGER WARNING ***

I remember talking about the anger I was feeling. Pretty fragmented after that, but I do know that sitting on the floor and stretching my legs helped me. I can't explain how, but it did. Maybe it truly grounded me to where I was right then.

The vibration/shaky feeling in my chest was already there from us talking about the anger. We talked about some things, not really sure what they were, and then my counselor brought me a clip board with paper and a pen.

He asked me to write or draw what was making me angry and my mind was so confused! I couldn't "see" anything!! So, he asked me to write the word "shaky" because that was all I could come up with. My hand was shaking so badly that I could hardly write the word. After that, my hand was still shaking and he encouraged me to just let it write/draw what it wanted to.

My hand took up the vibration/shaky feeling that was in my chest and drew a picture. On its own! I had no control over it and it did not look like my hand. I was a passenger watching it happen.

When the picture/image was done there was a release and the pen fell out of my hand. The feeling in my chest was gone. It was like a release. It was finding a part of myself, I believe, don't really want to explain. I've spent the day trying to sort it out

It was disturbing and ? At the same time.

???