I'm not going to say you have to believe in some being "up there". I'm not going to say you have to believe in anything. But you posted here so you must be looking for some kind of spiritual reply, or maybe you're not.

'God' to me is an energy. You can find this energy in numerous ways, in numerous things.

Take, for example, your anger, your heartbrokeness, your disapointments. It is energy. But, it isn't a good energy You say. Isn't it? Its an energy that brought you here, to seek out others, to find someone who understands and cares, listens.

But that doesn't fix thibgs, does it? Again, the answer is energy. If you wish things to be fixed, to be changed, you must find the energy, or, transform the energy You already have.

How do I do that, you ask. Its simple, but, it's hard. Think about the energy You give to your thoughts. Are they constructive? Do they help you overcome your feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment? If they do not, you must change your thoughts. By changing your thoughts, you change your energy, by changing your energy, you change your life.

Good luck.