Like you, I tried many times because money and substance (suboxone was my thing) and hookups were always around. Didn't help that my own brother had a play in it. Well finally I got sick of being a slave to it. It was to a point where I wasn't even getting high anymore. But like any other opiate, I needed a little bit here and there to "get right". Well I'm BP and also started drinking again at that time. Well after drunken night of pure hell from my doing, I ended up in IP and that was enough to make me stop. It wasn't easy. I still get cravings but when I think of the withdrawal it makes me stop. I notice you said you're not sure if you're ready. Sobriety is a life long battle and commitment. I was just sick of being a slave to such a nasty drug. Think to yourself all the reasons you need to quit. And more than anything, lose all contacts with hookups!!!! My bro and I used to call eachother all day looking to score but now I only talk to him about once a week. My other contacts? I deleted and blocked their numbers. Temptation is too easy to give in to. That was my big problem. If you need help and support please don't hesitate to PM me.