Dear Igiveupinohio,
I'm so sorry you were never able to meet your grandchildren. I can't imagine how hard the pain is to endure. I think I have read some of your posts but am going to take a look again. I hope something good comes your way.
As for the title of your post, I have always been a "doubter" and it contributed to a lot of my "teenage angst." I wanted to believe, everyone around me did, but, I just don't. Faith does seem to provide a great deal of comfort to the faithful. It can be painful to not be part of such a wonderful thing but I think Alchemy63 had some nice thoughts. I understand why you are so disappointed; the beginning of life is miraculous. We come into the world innocent, sincere, awed by the simplest experiences. And how it is created is so mysterious, look at how beautiful flowers are when they first bloom. Flowers don't last long but they help life begin. Anyways, your hurt is understandable. Sincerely, Myst