Hello Ithinkimbroken: I'm so sorry your life is so difficult. I would have to say that, although I am an older person, there are several ways in which what you wrote sounds familiar. Hopefully, coming here to PC can be the beginning of better things in your life. You concluded your post by saying you don't even know why you wrote this. Perhaps it is because, somewhere within, you still hope that healing is possible.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!