You show real wisdom in what you say about how people come and go and that can be about what's going on in their lives. I've had to accept that myself. I tend to never break with anyone I've connected with, but I've had people drift out of my life. It can feel awkward to run into someone you considered a friend, who now doesn't bother with you. That happened to me recently. It's best to just hold your head up, smile and greet the person cordially. Afterward, it won't feel as bad as you think it's going to.

Being friends with an "ex" is something I don't think ever works out, or hardly ever. Ex-partners who have children together often do achieve a working friendship, as they need to collaborate with regard to the kids. In the absence of kids, it's kind of pointless, I think. One party is usually more hurt than the other. Then there may be a tendency to compare the relationships that each gets into, and that's not healthy. Also, future partners really don't like an ex hanging around in the wings. I never minded my boyfriend being in contact with his ex-wife. (They had three children together.) But he sure would not have liked me being in contact with some ex-boyfriend from my past. That, to me, makes perfect sense. I wouldn't do that. I think you are wise to turn down meeting up with your ex. It's not healthy for him to be trying to hang on to you in some capacity, or to be posing as a source of support to you, when the relationship ended in a way that left you hurt. You both need to move on.

Look at your experience with your ex-bff as a learning experience. You see now why it would have been better to have wound down the friendship in a less abrupt way. But you were hurt, so you ended it how you did.

It is harder to be the person left than the leaver. But being a "leaver" may say something about a person that isn't real admirable. Some people cultivate relationships to serve some short term purpose. Then, when that purpose is over, they drop you. I've been dropped a few times by people like that. I think it says more about them than it does about me. I try, now, to be more alert to why someone is being friendly with me and not see their interest in me as being on a higher plain than it deserves to be on.

I hope you do find new relationships with people whose regard for you is based on real warmth and affection. We all need that in our lives, and it can be tough to find.