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Originally Posted by healingme4me
I hear you about having the responsibility and no to little support. Wasn't exactly what drove me into my marriage with my exh, but yet seems to be a large part of what the feeling is in raising the kids and all the major life changes that went on over the past many years. So I certainly can understand and appreciate what you're going through.
Reaching out even if just through a site like this can at least make this life seem a lot less isolated by knowing there are others in similar positions.
It's not easy, but years down the road, looking back, knowing where you've been, you know you've survived.
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yeah I got into a relationship with him when we were 16 because he made me happy and I wanted to help him. He was going through abuse at home and I thought that I understood and my dad was a child abuse survivor himself so I thought it'd be good because it was safe and an understanding environment but idk. That's an idealistic 16 year old for you. Then I thought good faith would change him, then we had kids and I hopped if not me at least his love for them.. then it became too hard to leave so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Mama
You are doing the right thing. Taking care of your self and your kids. You are showing your kids not to let any one bully them. They are young but this will be valuable lesson further down the road.
I am glad some of your acquaintances are starting to believe you. I was the same way. No one believed me and my H convinced me that people would believe him over me. So I stopped telling people, then I lived in my own personal hell. So in short, you are doing the right thing.
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I tried talking about it to my friend before and she blatantly ignored it. She was talking to me about some violence her boyfriend was doing as well and immediately I was like "oh ****, this isn't good, trust me i've been and am in this situation, let's talk" and she clammed up, told me her bf would be mad if she said anything else and just pretended like I didn't just say anything
Then every time we'd all hang out she'd tell me how nice my ex was, how at least he actually cared about the stuff i'd show him and would hold doors and carry things for me so I realized that being close with her in that way was a lost cause, she was too early in her mess and therefore unreachable.
and my dad being the childhood abuse surivivor, thought he'd help but that didn't happen. On the one side he'd be like "your fighting is triggering my PTSD" but then he'd say I should stay. So it didn't make sense.
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~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~