wtf was i even talking about?
im losing my mind, geez... its so difficult pretending like everything is ok when its so clear that its not ok, but not able to remember any thing so im just covering my own *** trying to keep the secret
i gotta figure out some way to fix things... why do i always have to be the one to fix things though? why cant someone else take a step back from their own agendas and just say "you know what? i totally understand, im not going to complain about myself and stupid unimportant non problematic issues and instead i'll support you!"
one of these days i'll have my own life, one of these days i won't have these problems
atleast i get along with the doctors and stuff... and atleast they seem to like me and want to help so thats
something
Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul
im sorry if i sound like i am a fake, a fraud, manipulative jack of cards...
my life... well... this is why i dont like talking about my feelings... why i dont know what i feel half of the time... why i just want to disappear...
i dont want pity... and i dont even deserve the concern... i have pdoc appointment in an hour... its just one thing... when i do say something... its not a game to me... yet i am made light of all the time anyway... yet those who dont have a voice and have support people get disturbed and upset when they do end it all... wonder why he did that... but they are so selfish that they cant even understand... and yet i dont think i even want anyone to understand anymore... i just wanna go away... far far far away...
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