Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
I don't use the word manipulative unless describing a predator type person who poses a threat. All behavior seeks to satisfy a need. It's up to everyone to decide how they will respond to how others are seeking something. Attention is not a bad thing for someone to ask for, but it sounds like you felt threatened by the way by this person was asking for your attention. I may have ignored it or followed up later to ask if they were really okay, but you seem to have settled it for yourself.
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I agree its a good thing to .....ask.... for attention but its not a good thing to manipulate others to get that attention.
manipulation here in my location is used in any situation where someone purposely sets out to get what they want by controlling others.
instead of saying hey can we take a break from this game or this conversation I need this or that. this person would throw into the conversation Im going to (suicidal action) on this day by doing this.
example someone was saying their garden was doing great and when we asked what was in the garden this other person would say Im going to (suicidal action) on this day by doing this.
another time I said my children and I would love to see Disney Land we all heard a comment of I am going to go there, rent a room just so i can (list of self injury actions)
both times we stopped the game and looked at her and said seriously and she laughed and said some normal things she had done that day and did anyone know about a good store to pick up fresh breads at.
my point each time the night was focused on someone else and happy this person manipulated us with her threats. then when finally confronted with what she had said through out the night she made light of it and admitted she was just doing it for attention.
yes I was unsettled. the situation caused me to dissociate (feel numb, spaced out, disconnected....)
I have no problem with someone ...asking....for attention but I do have a problem with when someone manipulates me.
you are right sometimes people do ask for help in suicial self injury actions and at first I thought maybe this person knows what my chosen work is and was asking for help, which is why I brought it up in the kitchen.
I got angry only after I realized this person has planned out her night in my home to do this to us .....on purpose..... so that everyone in the room was focused on her rather than enjoying a night of entertaining conversation, food and games.. this person was willfully/ consciously with no mental or physical challenges manipulating everyone else in the room.