I mean... There are different models or ideals to be sure. I'm very much taken by this notion that Shapiro writes about... Maybe I'll try and find the thread where I quote him so I can bump it up... But the idea is basically... That the therapist gets something out of being a therapist. Otherwise... They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't be attracted to it.

I figure (on the basis of my observations) that my therapist is very sympathetic to my needy / dependent feelings. That he is very sympathetic to feelings of powerlessness etc. That he has less sympathy (that he writes it off as avoiding) if I have feelings of competency or accomplishment or happiness.

Maybe because he doesn't feel so useful then?

Well... Maybe he can learn that I can care about him and need him very much indeed while AT THE VERY SAME TIME I'm feeling productive in my work and competent with that etc.

And maybe I can learn... That people can care about me while I'm feeling productive in my work and competent with that. That I don't need to be overly helpless / overly out of control / overly dependent in order to earn his love.

And maybe it is a mutual thing.
I think it is a mutual thing indeed.
If it wasn't a mutual thing... Then why would he do it?