Define "Normal"?

I'm only speaking for myself, here, because everyone's experience is different. I, too, am obsessed with food, and will think about what to eat, what to cook, etc, all the time. What's more, I'll even obsess about throwing away food that's close to spoiling, but not quite there yet. That's actually normal -- for anyone experiencing starvation. And htat's what AN is, starvation.

I've struggled on and off with AN for almost 30 years now, and there have been times when I just ate. You know, I'd be hungry, so I'd eat something. I would choose what I ate by what I wanted to eat, not by what would keep me from getting fat. I was as close to normal in my eating habits as I can be.

But it was still lurking in the back of my mind. I still felt a bit like a compulsive eater, and fat/lazy/weak willed/etc all those things that not eating kept me from feeling. Not all of the feelings went away, and my 'normal' weight often seemed depressingly fat to me.

But I was at a normal weight. And I did eat pretty normally.

Are you getting any treatment? Or, better question, what sort of treatment are you getting? How long have you been doing this? What is your situation, in terms of getting help? In school? Insured? (Yeah, I'm about to hit you with the practical stuff, but I'll do that later.)

For now, how about this: you're not alone, there are plenty of us out there. There is hope, and you can eat normally. Your obsession with food will pass when your eating and weight normalize, that's the good part. Although I can always get a good obsession going about things like chocolate eclairs...

Best luck to you, and welcome.