Some new memories just came out for me.. though not new.. cannot explain the very strange feeling.. or what it truely means.. because I am confused about it myself..

Co-consious is what I want.. and have pretty much unless under alot of duress... then things happen...that make me realize that I do not have the co-consious when extremely stressed..

So my T.. believes that integration is possible - that is his goal... not mine... in fact I tell him.. no is not what I want..

my goal.. is to "feel" better.. to not be in so much pain..

and he said he fully integrated one person.. and I believe him... cause he is good...