Maybe you have an inner ideal self that you try to become. Thing is, we are who we are, we can be our best selves but we cannot be someone else.

The truth is, everyone cannot be anything they want to be. One of my friends is struggling a lot with this. I try to convince her of her limits AND of her strengths. But it always ends in that she wants a life that someone like her cannot live. Or it is simply not good enough.

Therapy is to find a way to handle issues, to grow, and become your best self. It is not to become your ideal self. No one can be their ideal self.

If the surroundings don't fit, sometimes one must change the surroundings, not yourself. Everyone does not have to go to college then find a job, then find a BF, then marry, then have kids. There are other ways of living life. But then you have to answer deep inside what you ARE and what you LIKE and what you are GOOD at. Hard questions, I know.