Today I am giving up on my pdoc office ever calling me back. I am NOT going to call them for the 5th time and be put on hold and have to listen to the soothing guitar music again for half an hour for nothing.

Well I should say it was soothing but now its just making me angry. I will just have to handle the tegretol situation myself. Not sure what I am going to do just yet. Not sure if I should cut up my pills and try to lower the dose or just stay the same till my next appointment or what.

Probably will just stay the same but it better not land me in the hospital again for pancreatitis because I am really going to be angry if it does. I guess I am really on my own. I am not ever going to bother to call there again. It wouldn't do any good anyway because they will never call me back.

Got to thinking about the whole farming thing again last night and I realized that if I am going to be selling papered goats that I am going to have to deal with disbudding this time.

Nobody will buy a papered goat with horns from me, its pretty much unheard of. I never have had a show goat but I hear they wont even let you show them if they have horns. I don't see what the big deal is, all my old goats had horns and I thought they were beautiful.

I seriously CANNOT do disbudding. Well I could physically do it but mentally there is no way I am going to be able to bring myself to do something like that to a baby goat. I cant do it, I just cant and it probably makes me a lousy farmer from the get go.

Maybe I can find a vet to do it. One that will give the poor babies pain killers or knock them out or whatever so it does not hurt them. I am going to have to because I seriously cannot do disbudding and they all WILL have horns if its left up to me to do it.