People ( this includes family, friends, the very people we love) can, and they usually are, insensitive to our pain. I'm not saying you should hate them (its not a healthy emotion), theyre ignorant and donot understand what we are going through and they probably never will.
This person you refer to as your 'best friend", if he really was a good friend he shouldn't be preying on your vulnerabilities like this. Same goes for your family, they should be more sensitive.
Its typical of people to find even a sliver of insecurity, or vulnerability and attack and prey on it. This world can be a mean place sometimes. This is why choosing the "right" person, to share your troubles, is extremely important. you'll get to meet people who'll be kinder, compassionate, understanding and supportive. Those are the people you' should trust.

One thing i can tell you for a fact is that, you will get over this phobia, or atleast you'll be able to deal with it better in time. There are lots of techniques like (exposure therapy) and experts who can help you learn to overcome your fears. So hang in there, things will get better with time. Also, keep your distance from people who have the capacity to hurt you.