Trying to think of how to respond, because it seems I've missed a lot. I guess my wording was a bit bad, as in some relationships we don't avoid if we feel like we don't have to. That's how I am with my partner, too. I avoid some things with him (confrontation, for example), but I don't avoid *him*. As with all diagnoses, I think, as long as you meet most of the traits you'd probably be diagnosed by a professional. (Though to be honest, since mental health care is so hard to access I never understood why a professional diagnosis was considered important for saying "Hey, I have this and this.." as with mental illness and personality disorders, we often feel we need to know other people struggle with it, too, so a self diagnosis IMHO is just as important if you can't access treatment...)

I do feel like avoidance is always there, in the back of my mind. In a way, it's a good thing I have an understanding partner. I can't imagine where I'd be if I didn't. (Probably running away to retreat once more like all my past relationships)

As for extroverted avoidants... I have no doubt they exist. I don't consider myself 100% introverted, to be perfectly frank. Of course, I'm not extroverted, either. I do need to wind down after being around a lot of people, and yet I don't feel I get my energy from being alone, either. I think I get my energy from being around one or two people at a time. Knowing that, I can imagine there would be extroverted avoidants. It would likely be a sadistic form of torture, of course. Imagine feeling like you have to be around people all the time, and yet being afraid to. It's torture enough wanting to have just a few close friends but being afraid to.