Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
I don't know how it is for other people with d id, though sometimes my therapist will affirm after I've shared something that it's very normal for x,y or z to happen in the di d world, and that helps. For me, there is a lot that's unknown, and a lot of what you describe as losing grounding, but also...the more understanding I gain through therapy about what is happening and why--what each insider's role is and has always been--I see that this has always been happening. Now I have a way to understand it/us and calm things down or at least learn ways to do that.
Honestly, it helped to have the diagnosis, at the same time it's a struggle to accept. The questioning is always there, but having that help from a professional who has experience with this has made all the difference. It did not start to come together until I/we came forward with it and told my therapist about some of us and the different roles and tasks. She said she had seen the switching and the symptoms before I took the leap to trust her with everyone. It was a very long time getting to that point.
There is a lot to still understand. So much has been hidden from me. It's a long process. I hope you are able to talk openly with your therapist about this and be able to let go of any fear about a particular label because being able to bring things out into the open is terrifying and unburdening at the same time. (Sorry if this is off topic to what your concern is. I can't really tell if you struggle with identifying what's happening or if you have identified it and are struggling with it on that side of things).
eta: my therapist calls this topic co-conscious and it happens with me and at least one other.
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Thank you!!!! That was the word I was looking for!! I found this
https://sarahkreece.com/2012/08/07/w...consciousness/
and there are all the answers I was looking for.
Co-consciousness!!
I had not found anything that had described it, in such an understandable way.
Thank also for sharing your experience of coming forward and talking about it with your therapist. I catch myself referring to me as "we" a lot lately. Several months ago, I caught myself about to do that in session and was going to correct myself. I went ahead and said "we" and explained to my counselor that it felt very "right" to say it. It feels more normal than I have felt in my life. It was a bit scary to do that, the first time, but now does feel as if a burden has been lifted. I acknowledged it and accepted it.
I really have no idea how this looks down the road. I am truly blessed to be working with my counselor, because I feel very safe to talk openly with him about it. We have talked a lot about "other parts of me" as far as the dissociation aspect of what happens to me. D ID has always frightened me, because I had the picture of it being totally amnesia episodes. What I read explains another aspect of it, that makes total sense to things that I experience.
Thank you again for the ETA!! It was a gift to me.
