Trying to push through and get things done. Against a backdrop of hopelessness. Guess it's like trying to prove this "pessimism" wrong, despite all indicators pointing towards all the effort actually being pointless. That's what's inside my head. Trying to hide that.
On the neighbor front
Reading this over, I realized I should mention that my personal state is unrelated to the trigger marked stuff -- just to be clear, because it could easily appear otherwise.