Hi DaX11: You know... I don't know that there's much you can do here. It sounds like you're being as good a friend as you can be already. People do change over time. And sometimes those changes cause the kind of growing apart you've experienced with this friend. Plus, as you wrote, this person has endured great trauma in her young life. There's no way for you to know what may be going on in her mind. She may not know herself.

Personally, I'm a believer in just finding little things to do for a person you want to be friends with. So my thinking would be to see if you can figure out some little things you can do for your friend to show her you care about her & want to be friends. I can't tell you what these things might be since I don't know her. These things shouldn't cost you anything. You probably don't have a lot of money to spend anyway. And you don't want to overwhelm her either. But simply look for opportunities to do little things that will let your friend know that you still care about her & want to be friends. Sometimes, perhaps, it's just a simple text or e-mail saying: "Hope you're well." Beyond that, I don't know as there is much you can do. You can't make her be a friend if she chooses not to be.

Of course, the other possibility here is simply to ask her, straight up: "We used to be such good friends. I'd really like for us to be best friends again. Can we be good friends again?" I don't know if that feels too direct for you. If you did that, you'd know where you stand... one way or the other...