I have relaxed and calmed down but them saying I had cancer and rushing to get me into surgery and lying to make me go through with it and then them finding there is no cancer in the womb only precancer on a polyp that they removed but still saying I have to have a hysterectomy operation urgently,that distress me a lot and my mental health deteriorated from the shock,fear and distress they caused me.Totally misinformed and lied to I was.I wonder how much more they get paid for operation rather than other treatments cos this surgeon didn't mess about he saw the words precancer and immediately after talking to me for 10 mins and breaking the news got me to sigh a consent form for hysterectomy,he said I had to have it!

As it turns out as you know the MRI showed no cancer is the womb,we have a precancerous polyp that they removed from me and precancer cells when they appear take 10 year approx to become cancer so removing the womb is urgent,I think not!

The prospect of a major operation when I am so ill was causing me to fear and worry a lot,sure as hell wasn't going to go ahead with it when the anaesethetist said normally she wouldn't allow the operation cos I am not fit for it,I mean did she think I was so stupid I'd let them cut me open after that!She must of thought they had frightened me enough to make me do that and she herself was pushing all my fear buttons,panicking,saying it was urgent cos it's cancer it could come back and kill me so it must go ahead.

I am really settled back down now after all the upset and I am glad I was able to take control.My fer being cos of my mental health if they tried to take it to court and force me to have the operation.They can't do that though cos I am discharged from the CMHT and don't see a psychiatrist and am seen as competent and able to make decisions.You can understand though it was very distressing and worrying and confusing to be told I have cancer then told I haven't got it and still they want to do the same treatment for both,put me under the knife.I keep going over and over it cos it was traumatic.Lucky it hasn't triggered PTSD symptoms but it can do and I am getting fear of dying thoughts which can happed with PTSD when you have been severely abused and are in shock,which I was traumatized by being lied to by a nurse and thinking I was going to lose my womb.

I am trying to rest and relax now as I say I have recovered somewhat but I am still ill and unfit.

Marylinxxx