Thank you, TishaBuv for your reply. I sometimes wish I could time travel into my future just to know it'll be ok, and to know that some of the things that disturb me today will be more manageable...

For now, I cringe at the word 'sexy' and other triggers, i avoid lingerie stores unless I really need to go in for a special occasion, and try to dress as modestly as possible. Which is sad for me, because I think sex with the right person is so beautiful. A friend once told me that sometimes people give off 'vibes' about their sexual nature and though I know this is not true, I'm unusually paranoid about giving off a vibe that reveals me as promiscuous