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Originally Posted by Starry_Night
block her account- i THINK maybe then you cant find her when you search?
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Thanks, that's a good idea! I've done it already
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Originally Posted by Argonautomobile
What are some things you can do, instead, when the urge comes up?
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I'm not sure I am even aware of when the urge comes up, it's so automatic. I don't have to be even feeling anxious or reminded of T before I find myself googling. I think maybe it's something I do when I'm bored, or in response to my baseline anxiety, or even if I feel worthless, because I didn't feel worthless in her company. I guess I need to learn how to notice when I feel the need to check up on T and cope with the above feelings instead rather than obsessing on T, which doesn't help at all.
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Originally Posted by BudFox
I'm forgetting some of the details. To what extent does your ex T know you are obsessing on her, and if she does know to what extent does she feel responsible or care?
One of the things that has driven me nuts is being left with these obsessive and intrusive thoughts, while the person who induced them is cut off from the reality of it.
Do you think part of the problem is that you want to tell her, emphatically -- don't you see what you have set in motion for s**t's sake!
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Ex T has no idea I am obsessing and I doubt she cares or feels responsible as she rejected me as a client when I got back in touch with her for further therapy.
I did raise the issue of over-attachment when in therapy with her and although I didn't notice my behavior for what it was at the time (i.e. obsessive) I am surprised and feel let-down as a client that ex T, a trained
professional, didn't spot this and help me work through it. Instead, I am left with the intrusive and obsessive thoughts, like you say, months later.
You're spot on, I do want to tell her and feel she has failed in her duty as a T to help me work through what I've now been dumped with.
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I took my ex-T off my fb search. I also got rid of her contact information so I didn't see her picture at all. Just seeing her picture triggered me. I also took everything I had from ex-T (printed out emails, letters, homework, pictures, etc.) and put them in a box at the bottom of my storage closet buried underneath other boxes.
Do you have other things (like emails) that are triggering you?
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I archived all emails months ago, not sure whether if I deleted them I would later regret it once I'd got over the post-termination pain so they aren't triggering me. I also locked away letters, homework etc and haven't looked at them since. I wouldn't say anything like that is triggering me, it's more the emotional void and distress of not having this person in my life anymore, being rejected by her more recently and feeling let-down that she didn't help me with the obsessive attachment stuff that I presume comes from unmet infantile needs.
I have blocked her FB and website on my browser so hopefully that will deter me from searching but I'm not sure that will stop me from pining.
