In all honesty (and not trying to be persnickety), I really don't get the distinction between professional and personal when it comes to something like caring.

So, when I thought that former T didn't really care about me, I would accuse her of being just 'professional' but the truth is that she was not being a professional T as I later figured out -- had she really been a professionally competent T, I wouldn't have gotten to the point of wondering and worrying about it endlessly.

Her getting all personally reactive (and then denying it) about how she couldn't stop feeling X, Y, Z because of stuff I said was very personal -- and yes, it could be interpreted as "caring" so much that she was reacting to me so quickly (couldn't help herself it seemed) -- but it really messed me up. I needed her to be professional and professionally caring. The personal stuff and her inability to keep her crap out of it was what ruined things for me.

So, that's just a long rant to say that the personal isn't always a superior option to the professional. In fact, I'd say that in therapy, it never is.

With current T then, I don't have even a tenth of the angst that I did with former T and yet she feels very solidly boundaried (far more than former T who took blank slate to a ridiculous extent) to me -- I can let loose all my stuff and she won't get personally reactive and overwhelmed (tried and tested). That to me is being a professionally competent T which includes the ability to care enough about doing their job well towards a client to hold their crap.

Having said all that, I really don't get the difference between personal and professional caring at another level as well. In all honesty, I really don't give a rat's behind about my family of origin -- I do a whole lot of things for them entirely out of guilt and my own messed-up stuff which could be interpreted as caring. But, it's far from it -- and, they never fail to take up an opportunity to remind me of it because well, it's kinda become obvious that I don't give two hoots. In comparison, I care a lot more -- genuinely want to know and deal with their stuff and want to make sure they're okay -- even about random acquaintances of mine. So, I again don't get the whole personal caring = caring like you do about family etc.

Finally I can safely say that I generally loathe my job (doesn't involve a great deal of interaction with people and isn't remotely in a 'helping' profession) and if I could afford to quit it, I totally would. That goes for most other people I know (at least in similar professions to mine). However, I regularly work long hours and weekends to make sure stuff is going okay -- not because anyone asked me to -- because my personal sense of caring or rather obsessing about things, wouldn't let me do otherwise. This isn't really a great virtue -- a large part is driven by my general all-consuming anxiety about not eff-ing up even if I loathe something.

So, is it professional caring that I want to make doubly and triply sure I don't eff up at work or at least don't eff up as much and am willing to to go to considerable lengths to do it? Or, is it still personal caring although I really deeply dislike my job?