It's been almost three weeks since my disability hearing and my lawyer confirmed my conclusion that the hearing did not go well. He said that I did not come across as credible and that we were looking at a denial. He said that as soon as the results arrive we can talk about an appeal.

I have a couple of questions for anyone who can offer some insight.

1. At what point can I jump ship with this attorney? The lawyer representing me is employed by the law firm I hired - in other words, he is not working for himself. That is important to me because for three and a half years I never spoke with this person. The lawyer I spoke with and more frequently her assistant, filled me with confidence - this man, not so much. I first spoke with this man a month before my hearing and I was disappointed from the first moment.

I am under contract with these folks as my fee is, as with any disability lawyer, based on a contingency. Does anyone know if, post hearing stage, I can get out of that contract and begin with a new firm? No, I no longer have or can no longer find my contract.

2. Due to being out of work for three and a half years and recently losing food stamps, I was desperate and looked for and found a job last week. It allowed me to sit or stand as needed and took minimal physical or mental stress on me. Nevertheless, as my primary care physician predicted, I had a heart attack Monday after working my first day and another Tuesday morning. I had surgery through Wednesday evening and into Thursday morning.

I called my attorney Wednesday afternoon and updated him. He said that it was 'interesting' and we'd talk about it later when the denial came in. I was hoping that since the judge hadn't rendered his decision yet, it might be possible to give an update - and I asked him about that. He repeated that we'd talk after the denial arrived. Does this sound reasonable?

3. Also, I asked why he didn't mention that large number of drugs that I'm on (and that disability requested in the moments before the hearing) that I can't work safely on - i.e. 40mgs of hydrocodone daily. He said that ssi doesn't want me on such pain meds and so it is counter-productive.

4. The lawyer said that the not credible aspect was based on me stating that I have between three and forty muscle spasms throughout the day that can last from thirty seconds to thirty minutes. The longer ones often cause muscle to rip from bone. At the time, doctors had not found the cause of this. They discovered the cause during surgery Wednesday and Thursday. They don't know why my body is doing this but they did see it themselves. Turns out, it's not a problem with my muscles...it's my blood vessels, which in turn trigger my muscles. My blood vessels spasmed so violently during surgery that they snapped a plastic (re: it bends) catheter that they were threading toward my heart. Then the vessel stayed clamped long enough for them to remove what was left of the catheter and go back in there and retrieve the broken off piece while my blood vessel held it in place.

Anyway, the lawyer said that it is interesting but since the doctors can't explain the cause yet, there's no use taking it to SSDI. Seriously? Does this sound right?

Lastly, though not a question, I want to give you some evidence so that you don't think I'm ''not credible". I have, amongst other things, chronic pain syndrome, coronary heart disease, chronic kidney disease, chronic liver disease, severe neuropathy in all extremities, myasthenia gravis (auto-immune), etc., etc., and on the psych side of things I have dissociative identity disorder, c-PTSD, and depression. All, of course, well documented.