Ok.

The realization has come. It makes sense now. Total sense.

Now. There is a part of me "freaking out" wondering what has been. What has been "real" in that moment and what has been "not me" even though I was there.

Does that make any sense? I'm trying to calm myself and be ok with it, but there is a part of me that is definitely on the verge of flipping out.

I'm trying to find a point of calm and peace and it's a fight.