This is a slow, hard, painful lesson to learn and implement. I often want my T to be a certain way with me but I forget that she responds to me. I have to do or say something that would elicit the deaired response. Manipulative?? I don't know, it feels it, but that is what emotions are for i think, naturally. It is just that to people who struggle with emotions it doesn't feel bloody natural at all. It feels crazy!! So if I want her to comfort me I have to show her or tell her I am sad, or just explain that I don't know how I feel except that I feel like I want comforting. If I show her and tell her that I am OK, she responds in a way that is appropriate to that. As I said, it is all a bit crazy making to me but that is why I am glad I have a T who us aware that it is hard work for me and who is so patient and consistent.