I struggle with this too and have also had numerous discussion with T regarding it. Personally I think it comes from a deep seeded need or longing to feel valued and to kind of feel a sense belonging, to be special and matter to someone. I know with my T I want to feel special and important because I fear I will be abandoned if I'm not so I always have to get reassurance through asking T if I matter. I think it all stems from not receiving or internalized these feelings as a child.
Sometimes I also wonder if because I long for T to be my mother I also see it as a chance to rectify the past even though this isn't possible.

Do you find you get kind of jealous of other people who see your T? I do, I find it's like I'm a child who's mother just went and held another kid. I feel rejected and at times I feel like throwing a tantrum to get her attention back- its so immature and stupid but I can't help it!