Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox
Have you made attempts to communicate all this via email? I feel it's important for therapists to hear exactly what the outcome has been. I'm an advocate of using Yelp to get this message across. To say publicly that therapy caused obsessive, intrusive thoughts is bound to leave a mark.
This obsessive stuff, it is a nightmare. I have lived it for 2 years now. I think it is reprehensible that clients get the blame for it. Getting abandoned in the midst of it is even worse. One therapist told me she thinks the worst thing a therapist can do is provoke overwhelming dependency or attachment, and then drop the client.
At some point I realized my therapist did not have the means to actively help. But what she could have done was sit quietly while I told her just how agonizing this had been. For as long as I felt saying it. Not doing this makes the whole process a fraud.
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I have had some contact via email post-termination but that was only about inquiring after further therapy and the reply I received was just stating the fact that T would not see me as a client again but would be happy to refer me/recommend a colleague. After venting here on PC, I got together the courage to send a further email in response asking if T could explain why this was so and I received the explanation that it would be "unethical" due to "dependency" and "complacency" in the therapeutic relationship. I then received the additional explanation a few days later that T's diary was full so could not take on any clients anyway.
The way that these emails from T were written and signed off clearly gave the impression that they were not intended to be responded to and there was no room for negotiation or explanation. That's why it felt so difficult and almost "pushing the boundaries" when I asked T why it was that I couldn't be taken on as a client again. She never even
replied to my last email. For that reason, I don't think contacting T after all this time to tell her about the obsessive and intrusive thoughts that therapy has induced would go down well. I would be worried about being accused of harassment because she has made it clear that we have terminated therapy, she will never see me as a client again, and doesn't even want me in the same building seeing the colleague she passed me onto on the days she is working. This all or nothing approach meaning that we can't even behave like civil adults and say hello in passing is actually fueling my obsessive and intrusive thoughts further.
Anyway, I'm pleased to report that blocking T's social media, website etc. is currently working very well. I've been ruminating about her, the therapy, being rejected etc. far less the last couple of days since I can no longer check up on what T's up to. Hopefully, it will continue to improve and I'll be back to where I was a couple of weeks ago when she was gone from my thoughts completely for a whole week. I think another reason I've been doing it (i.e. googling T) is because I am desperate to find out a reason for why T can't see me again when according to her therapist's profile (which is kept updated), she is taking on new clients after all, just not me. I was constantly wondering what I did wrong for her to reject me. Was it something I said? Did I somehow overstep the boundaries? Am I unlikable? Was I not making enough progress? Was I too difficult or dependent? But every time I keep coming back to the same conclusion. I did nothing wrong only be myself and present my issues. I didn't overstep boundaries, I'm sure. T initiated hugs as part of the therapy and I respected T's boundaries when she contacted me from her personal phone numbers but asked me not to use those numbers to contact her. I also never asked any personal questions. What she self-disclosed was entirely her doing and she did so quite often in relation to the therapy.
Anyway, there is no point wondering any more. Clearly something went wrong but it's done and dusted now and I need to move on.