I'm actually having those thoughts myself these days, as I've been stable for some time and find myself toying with the (extremely remote) possibility that I might not be BP. Maybe I'm just in an existential crisis which has taken years to finally go away. Maybe I ought to try going without meds for a little while to find out for sure...

Um, no.

I've been diagnosed by four different mental health providers. Besides, I know I'm not making this stuff up---my manic episodes have happened, my depressive episodes have happened, my mixed episodes have REALLY happened. It's real, and tantalizing myself with the idea that maybe this is just a nightmare I've been having for the past five years doesn't do much to help me get a grip. And I'm not going off my meds anytime soon, I promise.