Feeling desperate because T seems to be disgusted with me (my perception of last session) I called once and didn't hear back so the fool that I am, I called again yesterday.

His assistant is very sweet and I know he does the best he can so I am not upset with him. When he told me T hasn't had a chance to call me, I said 'tough love again'...and he said 'is this a life threatening situation'...again he was very sweet about it.

I told him that no it wasn't but that I feel that T is disgusted with me and giving up on me...he said 'okay I'll have him call you'.

Well, there has been no call. It isn't going to come either. This has never happened before and it is devastating me.

I am trying to think and believe that this is just the therapy process and nothing personal. I am trying to think he still cares but there is a pull in me that says he is trying to get rid of me and he knows if he pushes the right buttons, I'll fly.

I think I've said before on here T doesn't label me but we've talked a lot about borderline, histrionic and dependent traits...of course I've read a ton about BPD and T has mentioned many of the symptoms to me. He said he doesn't believe in labels and I was okay with that.

Why do I now feel like the label is being applied? Asking me if my call is a life threatening situation...after almost two years of therapy? First time ever...

I will ask T on Tuesday if he doesn't cancel that appt. first...