mckell, my T never responded to my letters I wrote (never brought them up in therapy, I would have had to but I didn't either :-) and if I called her on the phone she would deflect the conversation to "we'll talk about this next session". I think how T's work, their "structure," is not about the T and whether they care or not but just about the structure they think is most helpful. If they go out of that structure then the "path" gets less obvious and harder to find for them and for us? I liked the consistency of my T's responses. I saw her for a total of 18 years and that came to be something I could count on and use. She wasn't late, didn't miss sessions last-minute/unplanned, she and I could count on each other to be "there". That was really good for our working relationship. There's so much that is unconscious that is working for us anyway or which takes a long time to realize.

I don't think your thoughts are "negative" they make sense and have to be asked. I think it is good you are getting them out where you can see them and work with them instead of letting them fester in your head and heart. Thank you for sharing them.