Haha, people always revere honesty with high praise but it seems for some of is its just not our ally. xD

Agreed, I guess it's good for those that are attention seeking, though you'd think they could come up with a better way to get that attention than to pretend to have a mental illness.

Eh, some days are certainly better than others, and often I find myself going through a wave of a cluster of thoughts..like I won't really think of murder all that much and then, bam, it'll be daily, sometimes even constant, and I will say it's rather exhausting flipping back and forth between the urges and thoughts. I wanted to set myself up for conealed carry a while ago, even went to pick out the gun for such, but at the last moment I didn't go through with it because I just couldn't trust myself with the power of a gun, because of how strong my thoughts can be.

Sometimes it does scare me when they get really intense because I'm quick to anger and if I'm in the throws of that kind of thinking, sometimes it can be hard to really control myself. My friend and coworker actually had to drag me out of work yesterday because I'm sure I finally would've snapped on the one coworker I really don't care for after some bold and ignorant stunt they pulled, in that moment I really just wanted to hurt them, make them suffer and do a good deed by doing it for the workplace. So I do struggle with these thoughts, and sometimes I really do feel like I might actually follow through with them, and that's when I I start my "counter measures." That's music, isolation, turn my urge onto the animals I feed my pets, I think I turn to my pets in general because I'm confident enough that I'd never hurt them and they distract me from the thoughts.