My T and I have talked quite a bit about perfectionism and I realise part of my problems come from me not liking myself and being perfectionist about some things. Today my T mentioned things about narcissistic traits, she didn´t say I´m a narcissist but I feel she overinterpret things I do or say into diagnoses. Soon everything about me can be interpreted into something negative.

So here what I think I will be doing the next time I see her:

1. I´ll dress down significantly, all in black like black jeans and a black sweather. I have up until now always dressed neatly with brogue shoes, chinos, a nice sweather or shirt or similar.

2. I´ll get water in a mug to bring with me into the office before I meet with her. When I began seeing my T I mentioned to her that I liked that my former T always came with water and put beside me on the table before we started our meeting. Then my current T began to put a pitcher and mugs on her desk and since then I always have taken water there, in her office.

I plan to do all this as I feel she indirectly thinks me dressing nicely and wanting to be able to have some water in her office are signs of perfectionism, narcissism, self-exaltation and so on and by that I don´t want to do that anymore.

I know I just like to dress neatly, I also do that because I engage in therapy and felt my T was someone it was nice dressing up a bit for. But as that´s interpreted in to symptoms I don´t want to care anymore. It´s not neccessary to be offered water in her office as she doesn´t do that to be nice but instead she´s interpreting negative traits into me asking for water.

I also plan to continue dressing in the exact same clothes, just to act dumb as she doesn´t value things in a positive way. I don´t mean I don´t have problems, of course not but I feel she´s indirectly judging me for things that could be negative but also have something good in it.

I´ll never talk to her straight out about this, I want her to wonder why I do this and I have also engaged very seriously in therapy but she just seems to think "too seriously".

Do you think I should try this - dressing differently and stop having water in her office?