It is ok to snap at her. She won't care; she is used to that and it helps her see how you are feeling. I know you don't want to, nobody ever does, but i you do it's nothing to worry about. My therapist today reminded me that I don't have to sanitize my thoughts for his benefit and he's right, yet I still do it nearly 11 years into our relationship when there is very little that has not been said at some point.

I'm glad you've done this. It sounds like you are taking good care of yourself. It will get easier. Really. Maybe not tomorrow but with time it will.