It seems like you'd be dressing or acting differently in hopes of a reaction from her, so that you could communicate that you feel she judges you negatively, etc. I think it would be more effective to communicate this directly by saying it. In general, it sounds like you do a lot of interpreting and trying to guess at what your T thinks, and again, I think you would save some time and energy if you just asked her.

I can easily imagine you trying this gambit and feeling very upset if it doesn't work out as you hope.

Finally--my T says everyone has some narcissistic traits and it's not necessarily a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with dressing the way you want to dress. Trying to control other people is the problem.