I guess one problem with doing what you are suggesting is that that in itself could represent any number of other things. Changing what you do to indirectly send a message or communicate something or get her to do something is manipulative, and manipulative behavior could be as much a part of narcissism (or something else like BPD) as perfectionism is.
Just do 'real' and 'you', man. Life is too precious to piss around playing games.