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Originally Posted by Soccer mom
I had the exact feelings with my ex-T. But, ironically, I didn't realize that I was trying to get her to like me or felt she didn't. I worried that she was judging me and I would find myself outside of session wondering if she would like something I was buying or something I was doing.
With my new T., I don't have that feeling at all. BUT, she has told me (and I can tell she means it) that she fully accepts me and has pointed out positive traits that I have. My ex-T. would never do that. I once told her that I can't tell if she likes me or not and she asked "how would you know". Perhaps she was just trying to see what I needed to see it, but I thought "oh no, I may misinterpret anything and won't really know".
I also don't feel this way with others. It was just my ex-T. I think her way of practicing therapy (asking lots of questions but not helping me with answers) and her actions fed this feeling of not being accepted. It's a horrible place to be in and very difficult when you FEEL that way but the person is telling you otherwise. There's got to be something she's doing that triggers it even if it's small.
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Thanks for your reply!
I can honestly say that my T isn't really doing anything to trigger me. I have felt this way with both my previous Ts just not as strongly because I didn't feel as connected to them (the more I like someone the more I want them to like me back). I also feel this way with friends, co-workers etc. Being of a psychodynamic background, my T doesn't always answer my questions directly. When I asked her if she liked me she asked what it would mean if she did or did not like me. I said if she didn't like me I would quit but if she said she did like me I probably wouldn't believe her. It was really a lose-lose situation for my T!
Despite this, my T has told me it is okay for me to talk about literally anything I want and she has never judged me which is helping me to slowly trust her but I guess I still have some way to go with that.