Hello LOOSER. I am sorry that you are struggling at this time with your addictions. I also hope that you get the PROFESSIONAL help you need at this time, since there is a lot of help and therapy for your problems, and addictions. I hope that when you post you are very careful not to trigger others here that are very sensitive to being violated sexually or verbally. I hope you are looking for help for your issues and I hope you find the help you need soon so you can move on with your life. This site is for mental health support, and I hope you sincerely acknowledge that it is for support and help and intend to use this site wisely. Take care. Soidhonia