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mindwrench · 04:36 PM

That is terrible, and I get why you feel that way. Believe me when I say you are not alone,and have every right to feel that way. I am so sorry for anybody that has to go through that as a child, or any age, and then have it mocked by the abusers as an adult.

Possible trigger:

When I see anyone striking a child in public, I yell "Hey" and stare at them to stop. I will physically intervene if they don't stop . It grinds my gears, and I go into a rage if I see somebody hurting a child.

In recent hears I overheard my mother recounting a bad dream she had to a friend on the phone.

Possible trigger:

She said she was babysitting a small child and it was misbehaving, and she was frustrated because she was having difficulty removing the child's diaper so she could whip it on bare skin with a flyswatter handle. That she couldn't inflict enough pain and she said it like it was normal and expected sympathy from her friend

. I felt sick to my stomach and betrayed. I have never called her out for her role in the abuse I received, but a cousin once did and she denied every bit of it and said it was all lies. Yet she recounted that dream!

She says her and my dad did the best they could and did the only way they knew how.

Possible trigger:

I guess they didn't know better than to beat their child till they are physically exhausted from swinging belts, whips, fists, or whatever else they happened to pick up, and not stop when I passed out from being unable to breathe, or had broken bones.

I am currently living at home again with my mother (my dad has passed).

You didn't say if you were visiting or living back at home or sorry if I missed that part. I hope you at least have some escape from this environment. I understand how it renews those feelings, and takes you back to when you were young.