Hello ECwalkrr33: I'm sorry I cannot offer an opinion with regard to what was going on with you. But I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

There are many things about my childhood I don't understand either. But I've come to accept, over time, that in my case it is all simply a ball of wire that will never be untwisted.

I suppose this is the kind of thing people seek therapy for. Over a period of time, if one spends enough time in therapy, maybe these sorts of questions get answered. I don't know. Perhaps other members, here on PC, will yet reply with some more helpful comments.