IBelongToYou, I think I know what you mean. I've been going through thinking "My life is composed of X, but I really want Y. Too bad I'm not going to get it." That pessimism is turning me into a defensive, angry, despondent Ebenezer Scrooge on the inside. It's getting really bad for me too. It does feel like an unwanted personality change after a while - as if one is just adapting to the negative instead of challenging it.

Also, I've been encountering people offline who either seem to feel the same but don't appear to be aware of how they are becoming cynical, condescending and bitter because of it, or else people who have no patience for or understanding of those in low moods. This makes me feel even more defensive and isolating. At least there's PC and some people offline who do seem to "get it".