Quote:
Originally Posted by lucidity11
it wont come back and I think I just realized that. I am not the person I was five years ago. My **** is all over the place. even when I try I can't seem to keep everything going in the same direction. right now I am feeling like I just woke up to find that I am not that person any more and will never be. she was someone i made up to have the life i wanted but i don't have that life. my son my job my house all of it is gone. not what i wanted. not filled with love and safety. i wanted a family that was caring and loved each other in a safe warm home with some financial security. I don't have that. none of it. so i have to start over again or not Never connecting for any length of time. My life isn't what I had or what I wanted it to be. And I am only realizing it now. It's like waking up and it sucks.
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May I just sit with you and say that I understand in a way. Not in the exact, same way as you, but what you said sure hits home with me too!
I don't want to burden you with why I say that I understand. If it's a comfort, please know that I'm here with you.
May I share this? Your realization, and mine (in the process of coming to light) is not a door shutting. I know - it probably doesn't feel like that right now. It doesn't really feel like that for me either. But. There is a part of me that believes that. Really wants to believe it. And. I would like to believe it for you too.
If that's ok.